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IALA X h-pem | Mother my shadow by Isabel Nargizian

October 10, 2023


By Isabel Nargizian


IALA X h-pem | Mother my shadow by Isabel Nargizian

Isabel Nargizian is a 17-year-old proud Armenian born and raised in LA. Currently a freshman at UCLA, Isabel is studying psychobiology and pursuing her passion of composing music on the side.  Classically trained in piano, she began branching out in the last two years, forming her musical identity as a singer/songwriter. While she always perceived herself a musician before a writer, her aptitude to express herself through lyrics inspires her to also write poems. To Isabel, poems are lyrics with a unique melody, one each reader silently creates in their head based on the tempo and rhythm words are interpreted. Isabel's fervor to continually support the Armenian community enables her to vocalize people’s needs and opinions in her work.

Isabel Nargizian is one of the winners of the 2023 Young Armenian Poets Awards. Continue scrolling to read her winning submission.

Isabel Nargizian 
Age 17
Burbank, CA, USA

Mother my shadow

White sheets stained with shadows
To lay where you once did, to feel the cold and heat on my skin 
And to turn through the endless nights searching for God in my mind.
On the right of me, fresh blood forcibly, wantingly washed away
On the left is a clean slate, the side they focus on when discussing you, if they choose to.
To an untrained eye and distant ear, this was your fate, an end no one could change.
Oh how history repeats itself.
Add fresh sheets but the bed frame is all the same.

I know you did not exaggerate when you spoke. 
Why would you when there is already so much to say and too many to blame?
I wish you knew how the echoes of our voices haunt us in the night, 
How our songs and screams are discernible but implausible to the acting deaf.
Yet you, my Mother, you tried, even from these impenetrable walls, you crawled and you called.

I may not make it clear at my foreign school or in the safehouse I learned to call home but I am Fearful of change 
Yet the longer it stays,
I worry more with the days.
And what about the world,
Does it not listen?
Doesn’t it have eyes and ears and allies?

Please Mother, do not fret any longer
I may live far and rarely pick up your calls 
But I too ache with the pain that reddens your 
Veins, I too wait for the day you are free from this 
Cage, I too cherish the tut that grows on your tree and tenses the land with hopes of decree.

Now I see.
I see how you were too hurt to scream, too low to dream yet stood tall against the world’s army
I see the nature you nurtured while nations watched us get tortured
I see the children you saved while shallow trends were made
And I have seen the posts made to boast while you prayed for the names in our toasts.
I see and hear and endure this all and I ask you,
Mother, our mother, where did the time go?

A shadow lingers,
Shifts right,
Stained with blood out of sight,
And holds on to its birthright.

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Related Collaborations

IALA X h-pem | 2023 Young Armenian Poets Awards: On Visibility
Collaboration IALA X h-pem | 2023 Young Armenian Poets Awards: On Visibility

In a time of turbulence and uncertainty, the Young Armenian Poets Awards (YAPA) stands as a beacon of hope and expression. Founded and directed by Alan Semerdjian, YAPA of the International Armenian Literary Alliance (IALA) collaborates with h-pem, which, in turn, seeks to provide an authentic audience for the annual awards. As our nation grapples with turmoil, YAPA invites young talents to explore profound existential questions. How can poetry become a bridge connecting Armenia and its vast diaspora? What dialogues are essential within the Armenian community and with the world? These questions are met with insightful responses, as young awardees delve deep into their souls, weaving symbolism, fantasy, and elegy into their work.

In 2023, the theme of "Visibility" resonates deeply as the Armenian people face challenging times, particularly in Artsakh. The lack of media coverage and international support is disheartening, leading many to feel as though they are disappearing before their own eyes. However, YAPA continues to shine a spotlight on these issues through the power of poetry. This year's winning and honorable mention poems offer poignant reflections on identity, remembrance, and resistance.

Gregory Djanikian, Armine Iknadossian, Alan Semerdjian, and Raffi Wartanian, distinguished individuals in the literary world, provide insightful commentary on the winning works. These poems encapsulate the essence of the Armenian spirit, addressing the struggles and resilience of a people whose stories deserve to be told. YAPA's mission to illuminate the dark corners of our universe through poetry remains steadfast, and it is through the voices of these young poets that we find a glimmer of light and hope during these somber times.

Read on to understand more of YAPA's 2023 edition through Alan Semerdjian's lenses.

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